Caring at Christmas: Supporting Your Family Over the Holidays

Long-distance caregiving comes with its own kind of worry, but living elsewhere doesn't mean you can't help, and there's a lot you can set up from a distance.

Christmas is the one week of the year most families are in the same room, so it's a natural time to take stock. A few practical steps while you're home can make the holiday season and beyond easier for everyone.

Use the Christmas visit to notice how things are going

When you're visiting, keep it a visit rather than an inspection, but keep your eyes open as you go about the day:

• The kitchen. Is there fresh food in the fridge, or out-of-date food at the back of it? 
• The mail. Are bills and letters opened and dealt with, or starting to pile up behind the calendar?
• Medication. Is it being taken as prescribed, and is there enough to last through the holidays and the chemist's closing days?
• The house. Check the lighting, the loose mats and anything that could cause a trip or fall, and whether the phone is easy to reach. If the Christmas lights went up, did they go up safely?

One change on its own may mean very little. But if something is worrying, a visit to the GP together doesn't hurt, so try to book it while you're still in town.

Talk with them, not around them

Talk about what matters, what's become harder and what they'd like to keep doing.

Asking "what would make things easier?" goes further than "we think you need help". It's also worth talking through a few "what ifs" while nothing is urgent. What if a fall meant a few weeks of needing more support? Those conversations are better over a slice of Christmas cake than in the hospital.

Get the paperwork sorted while you're together

Paperwork is rarely the highlight of a Christmas visit, but it can save a lot of stress later.

• Talk to the GP. With permission, a health provider can share information with you. 
• Online access to health information. If the practice has a patient portal, you can talk about sharing access under a separate login.
• One list, kept up to date. Note down the GP, pharmacy, medication, insurance details, and where to find important documents.

Share the load with family members

Christmas dinner is often the one evening all of you are at the same table, so it's a fair time to divide things up honestly, based on what each person can really do. More often than not, someone lives closest and ends up doing their fair share.

From another city, someone could help with online banking, research services, make phone calls or do online shopping. And when you do visit, try to give whoever lives nearby a proper break.

A regular call at a set time gives you both something to look forward to, and it makes it easier to notice when something's changed. Ask about their week and talk about ordinary life, so every call doesn't feel like a health check.

How a regular carer helps while you're away

A phone call and a kind neighbour only go so far. A regular carer gives your loved one practical help, company each week, and someone who actually sees how they're doing. It can start small, perhaps a weekly visit for shopping and a chat, a lift to appointments, or help with meals and medication, and grow only if needed. We let families know if anything changes, so you're not left wondering what wasn't mentioned on the phone.

Respite care, so the holidays stay the holidays

Christmas is a lovely time and a tiring one. If you're hosting or travelling, it's easy to be running on empty by the time the new year arrives. Respite care is simply someone else taking a share of the careing.

It gives families room to rest, travel or simply catch their breath, while mum or dad stay in their own home. It can be a few hours one afternoon, a regular weekly visit, an overnight stay, or cover through the days you're away for the holidays.

Setting it up while you're together over Christmas means the nessecary support is in place, instead of rushing when something comes up. If your loved one lives in Auckland, we'd love to talk to see if a little respite would suit your family.

 You can get in touch with us in a few different ways.

• Call us on 021 263 8994
• Email us at laura@simpsonfamilycare.co.nz
• Find us on Eldernet